I feel like CRAP!

I finally got my period on August 22nd which lasted until August 29th, which is good since it was 6 months since I had one previously. Fastforward to September 12th, just 2 weeks after finishing my period, and guess what? I get it again! This time instead of lasting for 8 days, it lasted for 13 days. Today is October 1st, a week since I finished my period, and guess what?! I HAVE IT AGAIN!

Now seriously! I was bitching about it not coming, but having 3 within this time span is seriously fucking me up internally and emotionally! I’m blaming that stupid implant in my arm for doing this to me *sigh* then again, at least I’m not going 6 months without having my period & one of the side effects of the implant is continous bleeding! That means for the 3 years that I’ll have the implant in my arm, I could be bleeding like this.. damn that will be a bitch!

It’s messing me up physically as well, because whenever I get my period, I don’t eat. My appetite is lost and I only drink water, get extreme headaches, vomit like crazy and am basically bed-bound until it’s over plus don’t get me started on the stomach cramps *cries*

Only girls can bleed this much and still be alive! Who the hell invented period anyway!? I mean guys have little fishes to create babies and as the little fishes swim around in their little home looking for somewhere to go, guys don’t bleed! So why do women have to bleed when their little eggs decide to break and run away?!?!

I handed in all my projects and I’m near the end of my Masters. It’s like a huge weight off my shoulders but a terrifying next few weeks waiting for my results to see if I’ll graduate in Jan 2008 or not!

Today was my 1st offical relaxing day, last night I slept at 8pm as I couldn’t keep my eyes open but then woke up 3 hours later and couldn’t sleep again til 7am this morning then woke up at 12:30pm, jumped in the shower, fixed my hair, got dressed up and went to meet my friend Wissam and went to watch KNOCKED UP. Oh my God I couldn’t stop laughing, you really need to see it (actually download it off the net). Tonight I’ve just been watching TV, lying on the sofa being a couch potato and browsing the net catching up on all the gossip and doing som blog designs that I promised people

Tomorrow I’m going to a new Irani Restaurant called Koolba, for fu6oor which will be yummy I love Irani food hehehe

I stayed over at my grandfather’s house last night so that we could go see his sister today. I’ve spoken before about my great-aunt and how she has terminal colon cancer. But actually seeing her today really messed me up

My brother came to pick us up along with my mom’s sister who wanted to visit my great-aunt. My great-aunt just got out of hospital after having a bad patch the other week. She is getting no treatment for the cancer as the hospital believe she is too weak and old to survive any surgery, along with the level the cancer is she’d probably die on the operating table.

Things recently got worse when the skin on her legs started developing ulcer’s and clear discharge started coming from them along with blood sometimes. Basically now the skin is eating away on itself and she has red-raw patches of fresh all over her legs where the skin is gone. The doctors have no idea why this is happening and they don’t know if it’s the medication she’s on to help her or it’s the cancer itself which is eating away at the skin.

She got out of hospital on Monday and my grandfather’s other sister who lives in England was staying with her for a while to make sure she’s okay which is nice, but she’s leaving in a few days and that is what everyone is scared of. How will she cope on her own?!

Every morning, a local nurse comes and helps her out of bed and gives her a bath, then settles her downstairs for the day. Then around lunch time, another nurse comes and puts fresh bandages on her legs and washes them. The nurse arrived while we there there and my heart broke seeing her in pain. Imagine having your flesh cleaned and the pain you must feel. She never screamed with pain, but her eyes told a different story. Everyone left the room while the nurse was fixing her legs but as I walked into the living room, she was crying from the pain and said “please give me a minute”.

She looks so old and weak now, the last time I saw her she was just a normal 79 year old lady who was laughing and smiling, now less than a year later she’s battling cancer and can hardly walk. What a different a year makes ha?

It’s affecting my grandfather even more, he is lost and doesn’t know what to do to help his little sister. My grandfather is 81 and because my great-aunt lives over an hour away, my grandfather cannot drive all that distance anyway so he doesn’t see her all the time. He has to rely on my brother or my mom whenever she’s over, which is good she’s coming over for a month next week, so he can visit her more.

After we left her house, my aunt (who is a senior ER nurse) said “I don’t know how she’s going to cope alone”. Sure she has friends around who visit her and make sure she’s okay, and the nurses come into her house, but it’s things like eating, making sure she takes her medicine and what happens if she falls down in the house and there is no one there?!

When I was little, my great-aunt used to bake cakes and cookies and always give a huge box to my grandmother when she was still alive and of course I’d love them and eat them all. I miss seeing her laugh and joke and hate seeing her in pain. When I came back to the UK to study, everytime I had a short vacation I’d stay with my grandfather and we’d go visit my great-aunt every Sunday and have lunch at her house while watching F1 on TV hehe.

I had alot of fun memories with her and it’s seriously messing me up seeing her like this. She’s in pain and everyone feels so helpless and it’s like we all know she’s going to die, we just don’t know how long she’s got

I had a falafel sandwich and pomegranate juice to eat today, and now my belly hurts *sigh* or maybe it’s hurting cause thats all I ate today. I am having some Sour Cream & Onion Pringles and some Diet Coke now though to help the pain, just incase it’s from lack of munchies.

It was yummy though, it even had za3ter in it, although Pret a Manger ruined it with tons of this tomato paste sauce. I like it plain and simple; falafel, humous, maybe some lettuce, chopped tomatoes and a sprinkle of za3ter for taste. Why can’t the little falafel shop in Salwa Center DHL falafel to me every week?! I miss it… I really really do

I think I should start making my own falafel again, but but but I can’t be bothered! It takes effort! Oh saying that reminds me of this new Irani restaurant that opened here in Glasgow, I’m gonna check it out with my Omani friend at the end of the week! I missed her, but she’s back tomorrow

I need a massage *sigh* my back aches too!

I just downloaded the 1st episode of the new US TV Show GOSSIP GIRL and LOVED IT!

Based on a series of novels by Cecily von Ziegesar, Gossip Girl revolves around the lives of socialite young adults growing up on New York’s Upper East Side who attend elite academic institutions whilst dealing with sex, drugs, and other teenage issues. Featuring an ensemble cast, the series mainly centers around the lives of former best friends, Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf, and their shared romantic interest, Nate Archibald. As outsiders looking in, Dan and Jenny Humphrey do not run in the same social or financial circles as their peers but are drawn into their lives nonetheless. The series is narrated by a seemingly omniscient character, “Gossip Girl”, who runs a blog about her fellow Upper East Siders, consequently stirring the pot and creating potential rivalries in this exclusive and vicious circle of friends.

You HAVE to watch it! Download the 1st episode (torrent) from here and it’s on every Wednesday, so the new torrent would normally be up the next day

Check out the preview video:

43 hours without any sleep
43 hours of studying my ass off to hand in projects
43 hours of coffee
43 hours without any food
43 hours hearing the neighbour upstairs play his guitar
43 hours of sitting on an uncomfortable chair
43 hours staring at my laptop

After 43 hours staying awake, I finally slept at 3am this morning only to wake up at 6am, then again at 9am, then again at 11am to take my medication, then finally got outta bed at 2pm.

11 hours of sleeping for being awake for 43 hours?

That’s not right! I’m relaxing today, no studying AT ALL. Just me, the sofa, DVD’s and the occasional internet breaks.

I’m still tired *sigh*